US & N

Thought of traipsing up to Kenosha…
In the US&N, I’d been there before,
Lost my virginity in a cornfield nearby,
Some ages before I turned 24.
But got it all back again
At the Mardi Gras Ten & Jive.
Helps when you’re nevillized and radiated—
I was lucky to get out alive.
Don’t wanna buy a rittenhouse:
Upkeep is a sure killer,
Weeding out all that cnnapfox lice
And a frozen Lake Mich’gan is no moonwalk Thriller.
So, I’ll go play with my supply chain,
Order lots and lots of useless stuff for under the tree.
I only hope one day I’ll become Turpin Strong
Like Jordan and Jennifer; What, you talking to me?

#TurpinMeansStrong

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Isosceles Conic Evergreen Fir

First:
Isosceles conic evergreen fir
Then:
Sturdy tree stand [add water]
Then:
Eggnog for everyone!
Then:
Stringed electric coloured lights (blinky ones optional)
Then:
Baubles, bulbs, spears, tinsel, little one’s handmade ornament(s)
Then:
Star or Christmas Angel on top
Then:
Energize stringed electric coloured lights (Oh, hope they’re some blinky ones)
Then:
De-energize room lighting
Then:
“O Christmas Tree, O Christmas Tree…”
Last:
Liberally surround in depth with presents as needed