I miss walking Paris
I miss Washington DC
I really miss those nice things
You used to think about me
I really like my neighbor
Even if I don’t know her name
Such things can’t be helped
There’s no one left to blame
The cat wants to meow outside
He doesn’t care much for Amelie
He just likes chasing whatever
Presents far away from me
I loved a Nordic goddess
I danced at her only wedding
We reconnected somehow on Facebook
Now I must vacuum, Jack keeps on shedding
I have seen true beauty
And felt arid with bottomless pain
I cannot understand the darkness
Kathy sees in Ashland’s daily grain train
I want to return to New Orleans
And lure the regard of a new pretty head
But I just write small lines in Austin
Watching Amelie avec a glass of Fonseca instead
Mixed emotions swirl
Then fall down
Another merlot-fueled atrocity
Masquerading as inspired verse
But it’s far from free random
Something much much worse
Second glass empties
Begs a refill—
A young Friday evening
Perseverating in isolation
I’d love to have a date
But that requires some ambulation
The ringer on mute
A cell insolent,
A Facebook lovely in Killeen
How to make a connection?
So many never-never starts,
Dust-in-sprinkles wet the imagination
Mixed emotions weigh
Then slip off
You asked of late how I was,
I failed to answer.
I was in the company of Misery,
But not to fret;
Misery has been my companion long these short 62 years.
We are old close-kept friends,
But such marvelous blues:
Steel, royal, sky, ice, midnight,
And the pale blue-white of late sunset:
A miserable color as neither pure nor hearkening of dark.
But my friend—
I am well enough to run a half-mile
And smart enough to take a dosage of sufficient aspirin;
I no longer hurt so much,
But for the loneliness.
Misery shares such liberally with me,
We both explore the Small Empty.
In the fullness of Time I have shared great times
And small reverses with co-workers and patients and their families,
But no more.
I’m in between opportunities,
So I remain,
Past wind-swept plains
A dress tossed to the floor
Is this real—
I can’t see you anymore?
A young-believing heart
Yearns for one no longer near.
When to speak or stay dumb
Is never made very clear.
Beyond the lonely sunset,
Tears find release:
Respite unreached afar,
Was this all just a tease?
Oh, years roll fast past the years,
Younger eyes for younger smiles now glow.
An old frayed belt now cinched so tight;
The lonely and the old have nowhere else to go.
Einaudi lingers on the stereo
As burnt chicken wafts thru the door
Happiness takes its turn to go
The reason why matters not any more
I’d give anything for one more chance
But life’s not as easy as a Cajun dance
Tomorrow will be a lesser day
Twas oft told to watch what you say
The cat wants to so go outside
As paltry aromas scale thru a crack
Nuances are things I could never abide
And now she is another you’ll never get back
I’d give anything for just one more walk
But life’s much more than marbles and chalk
Dawn comes so early in the day
The sooner you’ll be off one might say
The keyboard rings out its golden tune
Time to drain a merlot glass quick
Bedtime approaches too ready and ever soon
Cat calls his return with condescension thick
Lonely and longing lie buried deep and strong
Life’s losses are worse when you know you’re wrong
Tomorrow will be another lesser day
A fresh curtain for any farce or threadbare play
Oughta be sleepin
Full moon burns the sky
All alone don’t know why
Free footin lookin at goodlookin
Goodlookin outta be sleepin
Stars in the sky they know why
Mayb someday I’ll givit a try
Black cat low peepin
de prey tarry too long
Cat jumps prey done gone
But love b missin
Clouds scurry on by
Vote for who wont evn try
Soon da poet b snorin
Full glass drain to dregs
No love for he who begs
Dar haint enuf chock cake
Ice cream ner gran marneha
to get me to stop missing you
The sweetness of just you is just
Too much to bear for just one day.
Dar haint enuf ours
Yours and all odat
To get me next to you
The empty of whar you was still is
Too cold for coals to make hat
So gib me more odat
Crimson glasses of some vine cold
To close all mine eyes on you
Perchance to dream of a new one else
To love befo I’m git old
Maybe no more;
Overtime is such a bore…
Don’t bother asking,
I never’ll know why.
Where we going,
The sun is past set?
This is the best New Years
We’ve cried over yet.
Chords drip across my tearshut ears
And I’ve gone and lost the beat:
Did Father really say,
“DON’T CROSS THE STREET!”?
Did the spanking really hurt?
Or was the betrayal worse?
I’d used my young thinking mind,
But that turned into a squirmy curse—
Don’t be too smart!
How could you be so dumb?!
Turning all the right-wrong ways;
I’m getting kinda wrong-right numb.
Maybe no more;
You remember the way to the door?