Thought of traipsing up to Kenosha…
In the US&N, I’d been there before,
Lost my virginity in a cornfield nearby,
Some ages before I turned 24.
But got it all back again
At the Mardi Gras Ten & Jive.
Helps when you’re nevillized and radiated—
I was lucky to get out alive.
Don’t wanna buy a rittenhouse:
Upkeep is a sure killer,
Weeding out all that cnnapfox lice
And a frozen Lake Mich’gan is no moonwalk Thriller.
So, I’ll go play with my supply chain,
Order lots and lots of useless stuff for under the tree.
I only hope one day I’ll become Turpin Strong
Like Jordan and Jennifer; What, you talking to me?