Blog Archives

US & N

Thought of traipsing up to Kenosha…
In the US&N, I’d been there before,
Lost my virginity in a cornfield nearby,
Some ages before I turned 24.
But got it all back again
At the Mardi Gras Ten & Jive.
Helps when you’re nevillized and radiated—
I was lucky to get out alive.
Don’t wanna buy a rittenhouse:
Upkeep is a sure killer,
Weeding out all that cnnapfox lice
And a frozen Lake Mich’gan is no moonwalk Thriller.
So, I’ll go play with my supply chain,
Order lots and lots of useless stuff for under the tree.
I only hope one day I’ll become Turpin Strong
Like Jordan and Jennifer; What, you talking to me?

#TurpinMeansStrong

Corona Gone

The sun fell down,
And broke its crown,
The dollars came tumbling after.
Sneezles and dweebles
Racked up all the peoples,
Drowned out in all the laughter.
Maybe you ought take a pill
And go for a finer thrill;
Tomorrow may never come.
Tis a long way home
Where you’re far from Rome;
Make sure your pickle is dill.
He’s got all the ventilators
Certified by prime aggregators;
Are you sure his lapel mic’s on?
Forget Southern Nights,
Time for Last Rites,
She’s gonna be corona gone.
How do you give someone a hug
Keeping six feet apart on a rug?
May I ask: are you a believer?
Tell everyone I love them so,
And I will miss them when I go—
This morning I got up with a fever…