Blog Archives

US & N

Thought of traipsing up to Kenosha…
In the US&N, I’d been there before,
Lost my virginity in a cornfield nearby,
Some ages before I turned 24.
But got it all back again
At the Mardi Gras Ten & Jive.
Helps when you’re nevillized and radiated—
I was lucky to get out alive.
Don’t wanna buy a rittenhouse:
Upkeep is a sure killer,
Weeding out all that cnnapfox lice
And a frozen Lake Mich’gan is no moonwalk Thriller.
So, I’ll go play with my supply chain,
Order lots and lots of useless stuff for under the tree.
I only hope one day I’ll become Turpin Strong
Like Jordan and Jennifer; What, you talking to me?

#TurpinMeansStrong

Asuncion

All my words are collapsing
Piling up about my feet
To be totally honest
Would be quite the feat
Two glasses gone
And the walls aren’t even soft
Tried to attend the BBC
But can’t abide Bancroft
Turn up the stereo
Sorry y’all in 401
But the Friday has just come
And some loud hasn’t even begun
My hi-div stocks are up
Why am I so down
Growing old disgracefully
A plan not aforethought nor very sound
Rads on eleven!
What does the arresting officer say?
Shining in the deep—
What’s the damn capital of Paraguay?
Words fail me so prettily
With male baldness showing
With all this global warming
Why is it snowing