Category Archives: Uncategorized

Hey There, I’m Jessup

Hey there, I’m Jessup.
Just an ugly old Burnet paddock hoss;
Caint hardly speak clear so I ast this
Jackass, Clem, across the way to git my thoughts down.
Yeah, a jackass, but at least he agreed, he being a poet and all.
I told him no rhymin, but who knows—
He’s a jackass after all, so sorry bout any rhymin.
Twas a time passed when I ran with the best
But my ever teener haid said go ahead, run,
but my geriatric apoplitic knee said uh uh and here I am,
On this old farm. Hay is good.
Caint say much about the company. Jackasses all over. [Oh, sorry Clem.]
Yeah and so I was thinking about Pan Wren, my one time heavenly.
Ast me if I was on her Friends list.
Gosh, I wanna be on her Lover list, but that aint happnin. Bad knee, worse ‘tude.
Anyway, thanks fer listning to an old paddock hoss. You been so nice and all.
Next time yer this away, come on over and I just might surprise you
With a
Hey there, I’m Jessup.

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Silver Alert

SilverAlert/SilverAlert

Old gentleman with full white beard,
Last seen driving in from the North,
Out-of-state plates,
In a sled pulled by eight deer,
[If a lead deer present,
Check for abnormally brightly glowing red nose];
Attired in scarlet hat and suit, white fur trimmed,
Known for strong affinity for chimneys,
No visible scars or tattoos,
Crinkly eyes, red of nose and cheeks,
May be traveling with overstuffed bag full of toys, etc.
If you see this gentleman, please call:

1-###-MERY-0 0 0

Amber Alert Xmas ’14

Amber Alert/Amber Alert

Old gentleman with white beard,
Last seen driving in from the north,
Out-of-state plates,
In a sled pulled by eight deer.
[If a lead deer present:
Check for abnormally brightly glowing red nose]
Dressed in scarlet hat and suit,
Known for strong affinity for chimneys,
No visible scars or tattoos,
Crinkly eyes, red of nose and cheeks,
May be traveling with overstuffed bag full of toys, etc.
If you see this man, please call:
1-###-637-9000
[1-###-MERY-0 0 0].

Isosceles Conic Evergreen Fir

First:
Isosceles conic evergreen fir
Then:
Sturdy tree stand [add water]
Then:
Eggnog for everyone!
Then:
Stringed electric coloured lights (blinky ones optional)
Then:
Baubles, bulbs, spears, tinsel, little one’s handmade ornament(s)
Then:
Star or Christmas Angel on top
Then:
Energize stringed electric coloured lights (Oh, hope they’re some blinky ones)
Then:
De-energize room lighting
Then:
“O Christmas Tree, O Christmas Tree…”
Last:
Liberally surround in depth with presents as needed

Meriam Ibrahim MUST GO FREE

Meriam Ibrahim MUST GO FREE!

Dear Mother,

I am thinkful (sic) for you for many reasons.
One reason I my (sic) thinkful (sic) for you is that you love me and you
took care of me for 9 years. Other reason is because you provide me
with clothes.

Love, Amyra

–Happy Mother’s Day letter Lilly found
on ground outside my house. Thought
it should be shared.
Happy Mother’s Day!

Amber Alert

Amber Alert/Amber Alert

Old gentleman with white beard,
Last seen driving in from the north,
Out-of-state plates,
In a sled pulled by eight deer.
[If a lead deer present:
Check for abnormally brightly glowing red nose]
Dressed in scarlet hat and suit,
Known for strong affinity for chimneys,
No visible scars or tattoos,
Crinkly eyes, red of nose and cheeks,
May be traveling with overstuffed bag full of toys, etc.
If you see this man, please call:
1-###-637-9000
[1-###-MERY-0 0 0].

B flat

Hear the strings weep.
Here, the timbre lilts
And sweeps you away.
Up, and then, to ease
Back down.
Let it go.
It’s not your fault.
Bob was half-right.
It takes a cello to cry.
Truth lives with strings.
So cry with me
As I cry for you;
Cry with you.
A lone cello calls;
A forgotten pianoforte answers.
Lento;
Out of step;
On time.
* Ped…
….ritenuto.

Yep

Dad?

Dad!
Yep.
DaaaAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaD?!
Yep.
Am I pretty?
[Ruh-roh] Yep.
I’m mean ‘really?’
Uh, yep.
Come ON. Am I really pretty?
Let’s see…Yes, I would say the combination of
your bone structure and derma-musculo-skeletal symmetry
renders you quite not too unpleasant.
Dad!
Uh, yep.
Love you!
Love you more!
Love you more than most!
Love you most of all!
Oh, Dad!
Yep.

Scripps

Judge: “Tara, your word: poetry.”

Poetry.
P O E T R Y.
Poetry.

Judge: “Correct.”

Proximate Orations Equating Trivial–Romantic Yawpingly